If Only You Can Read Minds

Then you'd know. That I rarely truthfully say whats on my mind. Nor do I do what I really want. I don't think you'd understand if you do anyway.



When you look at me, I know what you'll think of me. Yes, I am aware of what kind of impressions I give to others: I look like another snobbish spoiled brat. The one who get As in most subjects in school. Someone who always get what she wants, and know how to do it. I have that charismatic vibe that can make people listen and do as I say. I'm independent. I'll be just like my mother, in a good way. Extremely ambitious and confident. A feminist. I'll never back down from an argument eventho I'm in the wrong and I know it. Stubborn as hell.

I'm not going to agree or deny to any of the above statements. Why? Because I myself don't know.

But I'm going to tell you what I really wanted to do.

• I just want to run around in a field, blowing bubbles and see them floats around in the air before they pop. 
• I just want to lie down on the sandy beach at night, looking up to the starry sky while the sea splashes between my toes.
• I would love to go on a road trip to nowhere with you, with a polaroid camera: taking picture on every random road signs and interesting stops, then make a scrapbook out of it.
• I want to do all the random things I read on MyLifeIsAverage.com
• I want to dance in the rain, spinning around as the rain pours down on my face, as if its washing my problems away.
• I wish someone would leave little notes saying they love or appreciates me on random places for me to find.
• I want to swim with the fishes, under the deep blue sea.
• I want to pretend to be a tourist, take the bus or walk to all the tourist hotspots, even though I have a car and I live in that place my whole life.
• I want to have food fight, or at least water balloon fight. 
• I don't want to be paranoid about bumping into or being spotted by my parents' acquaintances.
• I want to be able to do as I want, and express my feelings, whatever it is. I don't want to hold it in anymore.
• I want to have a NERF battle with my friends. In the park. 
• I want to watch the sunset while leaning on you and talk like there's no tomorrow.
• I want to cook, without having to do the dishes. You do it.
• I want to wear all the dresses my mom bought me. Bohemian, formal, sundress, whatever. I want to wear it all.
• I want to walk down the grand stair, in my long dress, feeling like a lot like a princess.
• I want to make a snow angel and have a snowfight. Having fun while feeling the chill in my bone.
• I just want to lay in bed, hugging you all day. Nothing else.
• I want to be swept off my feet.
• I want to stop worrying about the future, my studies or anything else. I just want to enjoy the moment I have. And make it worth. 
• I want to have someone I can talk to about everything. Everything. And they don't judge me for it. Instead, they stand beside me during the thicks and thins.
• I want to date a guy, who'd accept all my flaws and quirks, without being tied down with commitments and the need for me to express how I feel.
• I want to go to concerts, parties, gatherings. Every social events. Just go out and socialize, until the morning comes.
• For once, I don't want to be the one in control. The rationale one. The one who'll do the right thing. I want to be free, make mistakes and rebel.

This list could go on and on and on and on.

And no, I still won't admit that I'm a mushy-mushy type of person. Because I'm not.